Pain, when it is at it's height, pervades all your senses.
There is nowhere you can go to hide from pain, it gnaws away at you constantly.
It is possible to escape using very strong medication, however life cannot be lived through a fog of detachment and care-less confusion. Especially when you have children.
So, what to do?
You see, there is nothing that can distract your nerve endings from sending screaming messages to your brain. Pain. Pain! PAIN.
Please, let go of me. When will this torture end?
Oh the misfortune of having suffered postnatal cardiomyopathy, meaning that I cannot take the very drugs that would help to ease this pain.
Anti-inflammatories are not good for anyone to take for long periods of time. However, in the short-term, they can (and do) provide huge relief to many people suffering from conditions such as arthritis and degenerating spinal problems.
Knowing that there is something available that can ease this discomfort is, of course, worse than if there wasn't - given that I cannot take it.
Without the love and support of my husband I don't think I would manage to do anything and, thankfully, my children light up even my darkest days with their smiles, hugs and laughter.
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