On the 6th Day of Christmas

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a steaming bowl of soup and a cup of tea - which is a great (if slightly unusual) way to start a freezing cold December morning.

In the way of festive food, we still have our Christmas cake to eat - only two little slices gone so far (we cut it in the style of wedding cake, as it is fruitcake and quite filling). This is due to having had three birthday cakes in the last 10 days before Christmas (one party birthday cake and two 'actual' birthday cakes) leaving us rather caked-out! I had to make some more mince pies yesterday (29th) as we were down to our last two and we still have turkey, ham and Christmas Pudding to polish off.



As well, there are homemade sweets put out in small dishes each lunchtime - glace fruits, marzipan fruits, mint chocolate bark with pretzels, chocolate dipped honeycomb and peanut and caramel bonbons. It's a good thing my sweet tooth has, apparently, disappeared - otherwise I could be in trouble!

It will be quite a relief to return to everyday food.

In other news, we're gradually working our way through The Twelve Days of Christmas song - December suggested that we only sing up to the day we're on, so that the complete piece will not be sung until the Twelfth Day of Christmas. I can see this becoming another Family Christmas Tradition (or FCT!), though our eldest daughter admitted that this is bringing out a previously unrealised OCD side to her, as she said it actually hurts her a little to NOT sing the song all the way through! We shall have to see what we can do to accommodate all parties.

Letters to Santa

I thought I would share a few photos of another of our family traditions. Each year December and June write letters to Santa and post them in a Royal Mail postbox.

Into the Night

As I sat watching the sunset on the 20th December, the sky turned from cerulean blue to pale blue, then a slight blush of pink crept up the sky gradually deepening to a deep glowing rose pink. All the world appeared to be holding it's breath. The trees and bushes were unmoving sentinels. Not a creature could be seen or heard as a slight sepia tint crept into the 'time between times'. A deep hush fell. A presence could be felt. Then, the deep colour began to drain from the sky, leaving a pale ghost of it's previous colour tinting the clear expanse a pale violet before gradually transmuting to grey and ultimately giving way to deep twilight and, at last, night.

Party On

When you have a birthday in the Winter you can expect all sorts of weather though, in the South of England you don't normally get snow.

Over the years that we have been celebrating December's birthday with parties we have had snow on party days twice, though never on her birthday, which seems to suggest a stronger likelihood to snow in early-mid December than at the end of December. Only once did the snow actually prevent some of the invitees from attending, however luckily most of the children lived locally so were still able to make it.

I have generally reached a state of sleep deprivation by party day, brought on by a combination of party and Christmas preparations going on at the same time.  Also, decorating a birthday cake in secret usually requires fairly late nights, if secrecy is to be successfully maintained. This year has been made worse by a lack of funds at critical moments, meaning baking has taken place just the day before the party, meaning I didn't get to bed until 4am Saturday morning.

The reason for my very late night

How I woke up at 9am on Saturday morning and carried out all the pre-party tasks and then set up and ran the party (with lots of help from my husband and several friends) without doing anything really silly is beyond me, but I did! 

December had a wonderful time and loved her cake, so it was all worth it :)

Bakes of Christmas Past

2009

Another family tradition is that our Christmas cake is decorated by the children, usually on Christmas Eve, just before December's birthday dinner!

Here are a few cakes of years gone by, along with a couple of photos of some cookies that were so popular we have been asked if we will make more every year since we first made them in 2010!

2008

2010

2010

2010

Approaching Dark, Returning Light

As we approach the turning of the year from dark back into the light, there are many celebrations and festivities that take place to mark this important moment.

One event that I attend regularly with my family is the Tree Dressing Day at the Weald and Downland Open Air Museum in West Sussex. 

The kids love making headdresses from greenery and decorating jam jars to turn them into lanterns. 



I enjoy watching the traditional dancing, mummer's plays and listening to the singing as performed by Mythago Morris dancers and Rabble Morris. 






Both groups have superb costumes and give awesome performances in the lead up to the grand procession around the museum's grounds, that culminates in everyone dressing two aspen trees with their lit lanterns and then performing a spiral dance about them.

Unfortunately I have not been able to directly participate in the spiral dance for the last few years, however I do get to stand beneath the aspen trees and watch everyone else swirl and twirl and rush and loop and whoop around me (and the trees!) - it is quite an experience :)

A Bit of Light Reading

Today I'm back to Christmas Traditions, this time about books I read in the few weeks before Yule. I find just the title of some books to be very evocative, such as A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I remember my Father reading it to my brother and I on the run up to Christmas every year when we were children. We would usually be sitting by the inglenook fireside, warming our toes before bedtime, with the fragrant Christmas tree decorated and sparkling with tinsel and baubles in the bay window. 

Now I have added several more books to the list I like to try and read on the run up to Yule, some are classics, some not so well known. My favourites are not all reading books in the usual sense - The Snowman by Raymond Briggs is actually a picture book - however, it loses nothing by not having words on the pages. In many ways I prefer it that way, as when I read it with December and June the lack of written words frees them to make up their own story about what is happening in the pictures.

The Twelve Days of Christmas as rewritten by John Julius Norwich and illustrated by Quentin Blake has also been on my list for sometime as a wonderful dose of light relief and which directly led me to finding Frank Kelly's hilarious version on YouTube :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQkF7fpw-wI

The Box of Delights by John Masefield is fairly new to the list, a book I had meant to read for years after having seen the wonderful BBC adaptation on TV many years ago (which I also watch on the run up to Christmas every year!).

My most recent additions to the list are The Return of the Light by Carolyn McVicker Edwards, a collection of twelve stories from around the world for the Winter Solstice and Do Nothing Christmas is Coming by Stephen Cottrell.

Writer's Block

Sadly, today has been so busy that when I finally had time to sit down and contemplate what I might write, I realised I was too tired and really needed to go to bed instead!

So, here are a couple of seasonal pictures to (hopefully!) fill the gap.

Our Family Christmas Traditions

I have several traditions I follow in the lead up to Yule.

I normally start in late October / early November by making mincemeat using a tried and tested Delia Smith recipe. I also make our Christmas puddings which all the family stir before they are steamed.  By late November I will have baked our Christmas cake, have a list of any gifts to be made (usually edible!) and start gathering together ingredients, boxes and containers to present the gifts in.

On the 1st December I root out my copy of Do Nothing Christmas is Coming : An Advent Calendar with a Difference which I read at some point each day. Whilst my religious beliefs differ from those of the author, Stephen Cottrell, I find the daily readings help me focus on what really matters to me about Yule / Christmas and also give me some mental respite from the hustle and bustle.

Also, we put up Advent calendars for December and June, which requires some preparation as they now have at least 3 between them each year, 2 of which are regular return visitors - a reindeer stables to which they add a piece each day (much bargaining and haggling goes on as to who gets to put Rudolph in his stable on Christmas Eve!) and a lovely Christmas village, to which a new building is added each day.  Closer to Christmas we will arrange candles near to the village to light each night and, as the village grows, this really gives it a lovely atmosphere.

Then, about 2 weeks before Christmas, we buy our Christmas tree (we always get a real tree) and bring it in after letting it stand in a bucket of water for a couple of days. Everyone gets involved with decorating it, especially December and June, who have now made so many decorations that we rarely have space for anything shop bought!

Each evening we light a candle to help bring the light into our family home, which we all enjoy and I find it often helps to create a calmer atmosphere after a busy day.

Yule is hectic as it is our eldest daughter's birthday and then Christmas Eve is December's birthday and occasionally it can end up being a slightly confused mix of birthday cake, carols and preparations for the next day! 

We usually attend a Nativity service on Christmas Eve afternoon and then head home for December's birthday dinner and birthday cake. This is followed by our annual reading of The Night Before Christmas (by Clement C Moore) before everyone hangs their stockings up in the hopes of a visit from Father Christmas. December and June usually go to bed fairly early on Christmas Eve, but not before sprinkling reindeer food outside on the lawn to help Father Christmas know where to land and putting out a mince pie, a glass of milk and a carrot.

One tradition my husband and I are hoping to avoid this year is that of the ridiculously late nights in the immediate run up to Christmas, our worst being about 3 years ago where we didn't get to bed until 5am on Christmas Day - all down to not being ahead with wrapping gifts! 

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Well, whilst this photo does have a snowman in it, sadly the weather here is grey, damp and chilly. Still, there's no harm in dreaming, is there?

Since the change from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar in September 1752, I suppose it's understandable that we don't have a white Christmas very often. Though, to be fair, much of the north of England and Scotland DO have snow on the ground during the festive season. 

http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/learning/snow/white-christmas

http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/learning/snow/snow-at-christmas

However, since I have lived in the South of England since 1980, I cannot remember even one snowy Christmas. Actually, many a Christmas Day has dawned warm, damp and gloomy - to the point that I find myself now dreaming of a cold, possibly frosty, Christmas - not a very catchy song title!

It's amazing how much the weather affects everything we do and how we remember events is often coloured by the weather. I don't know whether the amount of discussion about our climate is unique to Great Britain or not.  I imagine the fact that we have a Temperate Maritime climate explains why we can have such wildly varying weather, with bright hot sunshine one day and foul, torrential rain the next (or even on the same day) and that in itself certainly provides a topic for conversation with anyone, whether friend, family or a stranger at the bus stop.

My best snowy memories are of being snowed in, in Constantine, a village in South West Cornwall just after Christmas and into the New Year in around 1979. It was just awesome! 

When we went to bed the night before it snowed, there was a really heavy gale blowing but no expectation of snow. The next morning, when I woke up, I couldn't understand why my bedroom seemed to be so bright. It was very cold, too, so I quickly threw my dressing gown and slippers on and nipped downstairs to let the mewing cat out. Imagine her (and my) surprise when I opened the kitchen door and she leapt out - to disappear into a drift of snow!

She emerged somewhat ruffled and, daintily trying to shake the snow off her paws, disappeared up the short garden to do her business and then turned tail and rushed back into the house to curl up in front of the fire.

What followed were several days of the best kind of fun: family walks and explorations in a snowy landscape, encountering huge icicles hanging off the sides of banks leaning over snow blocked roads; snowball fights; snowman building; tobogganing (well, tea-traying!) and discovering that when you climb a snowy field, the snow on the other side of the hedge can be several feet deeper than the side you are on!

Fortunately, the village still had a bakery back then and there is a dairy farm at each end, so fresh bread and milk were not a problem! Nothing quite like stomping up a steep Fore Street to collect freshly baked bread and then skidding and sliding back down the hill to enjoy thick slices of bread and marmelade with a steaming hot cup of tea in front of a blazing fire - heaven :)

Of course, snow fall, especially heavy snow fall, can cause all sorts of problems for many people so I suppose I should be grateful for our usual soggy Christmas Days that enable family and friends to reach each other and spend time together. After all, the thing that is most important at Christmastime is who you spend your time with, not what you get.

Christmas Complications

Musings on Advent keep turning towards Yule and then Christmas.

This is partly because I LOVE Christmas – don’t get me wrong, I love all the seasons of the year in turn and enjoy lots of other festivals, however there is something about Yule that makes me all bright-eyed and sort of fizzy inside.

Unfortunately, in recent years, I have been through some experiences which really conflict with this magnificent sense of anticipation, causing upset and confusion.

After all, having your first child arrive 7 weeks early by emergency caesarean section to save both your lives on Christmas Eve, is going to put a bit of a brake on celebrations, wouldn't you say? Though listening to a choir singing carols outside your intensive care room, whilst you are doped to the gills on morphine, does help to brighten things a little!

Dealing with feelings and emotions after such an event (which we thankfully both survived) are made more difficult when others seem unable to comprehend your feelings of sadness/greyness postnatally. Telling me how lucky I am to have had an extra Christmas gift is unhelpful, given that I nearly wasn’t around to meet her and she might not have made it, either.

9 years on I have mostly regained my equilibrium, with maybe just a little weep close to/on her actual birthday.

Of course, I also had extreme feelings of joy and thankfulness at still being around and my tiny little girl having survived what is a pretty brutal birthing process – one minute all warm and snuggly, the next whipped out into the cold, bright light with nary a warning. Actually, I reckon she did better than me. Today she is a very active, thriving, happy, loving child whilst I am disabled and struggle with many day to day activities. BUT I AM HERE to enjoy sharing her life, so it’s all good :)

Then, a couple of years ago in mid-December, I was whipped into hospital by ambulance with excruciating stomach pains. It transpired that my appendix was unhappy with its present location and wished to be removed and, fortunately for me (or not, depending on your perspective) the NHS were happy to oblige it. Of course, this was the first time in December and June’s lives that we were due to travel down to spend Christmas with my parents in Cornwall.

Before the operation on the 17^th December, I asked the Registrar whether the appendicectomy would prevent me driving and he, rather reassuringly, told me I would be able to drive a couple of days afterwards.  So you can imagine my consternation when, after coming round from the operation, I was told I would not be allowed to drive for at least 7 days, with a preferred wait of 10 days before doing so.

Cutting a long story short, we travelled on the 22^nd December, stopping at Salisbury overnight to make the driving bearable for me (my husband is a non-driver) and arrived safely on the 23^rd December. We had a great family Christmas, helped by the fact that the 6 of us stayed in an hotel near to my parent's home, which took a lot of effort out of everything for all the adults.

To finish off 2012, after we had left my parents and whilst we were journeying home over the 29^th/30^th December, my Mother suffered a heart attack which my Father chose not to inform us of until we were too far away to easily travel back. Fortunately she survived and was able to return home from hospital early in the New Year, but it was a pretty poor end to the festivities for all concerned.

So many people have unhappy, life changing experiences at 'special' times of year and often feel unable to talk about them as many people can be quite dismissive - in a, 'But it's Christmas/Easter/your birthday', kind of way - meaning well, possibly feeling uncomfortable and maybe not wanting your sorrow to impact on their enjoyment.

It's good to talk about stuff that upsets or worries you, heck, it's vital for your well-being to lance the boil of grey sorrow that can build up to overwhelm you. 

If you don't have anyone to talk to, or feel that no-one around will listen, these people will:

http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/#.VHzmOYusWDE

http://www.apni.org/

http://www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk/therapists

http://www.sada.org.uk/

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/counselling/pages/introduction.aspx

Advent - Do you have to spend a penny?

So, the first day of Advent. Over the last few days I have been contemplating the dark, gaping maw of the helter skelter ride to the longest night and the festivities that follow and wondering how many are going to survive with their emotional equilibrium (and bank balances!) intact, ready to move forward into the growing light.

At a time of year when perspective (especially financial) should be kept in tight focus, many find themselves urgently grabbing items that, at any other time of year, they would not even begin to consider buying for themselves, let alone others.

The cheap, the tawdry, the plastic tat - these often end up adding to the growing pile of unrecyclable landfill on the very day they are opened.

So, perhaps now would be a good time to review the list of people due to receive gifts and consider:

I. Can I afford to buy gifts for all these people?

If not, can you prune your list? Would changing what you are due to give people reduce your Credit Card bill or overdraft, thereby reducing stress in January (and ongoing)?

If you can knit, sew or otherwise create items, have you considered making gifts? Finally, if you know people who 'Have everything' and are really hard to buy for, perhaps they would be happy to receive a tin of sweets or biscuits, whether home made or bought?

Many charities also have giving gifts, where you buy an item to help people in difficulty around the world (such as clean water) and the recipient receives a card telling them what you have purchased - here are a few ideas: 

http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/oxfam-unwrapped

http://shop.gosh.org/catalogue/alternative-gifts

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/charity-gifts

II. Is what I am buying for this person something that they really want, or is it just something I am getting because I think they want it? Or worse – someone has given me a gift that cost £x and so I must buy a gift of the same, or greater, value.

This is a really bad place to get into as gifting should be a happy occasion, not a stress filled one. No-one should feel obligated to buy a gift for anybody. So, don't do it. Nowhere is it written that if someone buys you a gift you must buy them one in return of equal or greater value, that is why it is called gifting and not obligating.

III. Family Gifts - do you have to buy gifts for every family member?

There is nothing quite like the pressure of gathering with close and/or extended family at times of celebration to make folk feel like they have to spend, spend, spend.

Often this means lots of socks, toiletry sets and weird items are given to unsuspecting and innocent elderly relatives.

A family Secret Santa with adults drawing the name of the relative they are to buy for, with a price limit, could be a good way of reducing the gift bill.

This is really weird, I only meant to write about the beginnings of the Advent period and run up to Yule. Obviously, I must be worrying about Christmas gifts as that seems to be where my focus ended up. I'd better go and take some of my own advice then!