. . . even though you feel like closing down. Shutting out. Blocking.
"Some people are more stoic." Really? Really?? What's that supposed to make me feel? Weak?
"Some people handle pain better than others." So what am I meant to take from that?
"Other people are in a far worse situation than you." Wow, that's going to really make me feel better. Not.
"This too will pass", is probably one of the more helpful phrases I've heard - but its still overused and often employed to end a conversation where the other feels unable to continue supporting. Which is understandable, given that everything is meant to be solvable by taking a pill, having therapy, saying a prayer or reading a special book.
Whatever you do, hide your pain, smile through your tears, tell everyone you're fine when they ask if you're OK. Especially if you aren't.
I've been told that, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle", so many times that I must be some kind of emotional superhero by now. I don't think any of the negative events in life are caused by any God anymore than I think the good things are.
I know this because, amongst other things, I've known too many people to suffer, whether painful diseases, mental agonies or accidents - very young, young or older - to be able to believe that there could be a divine purpose to their suffering.
Trying to be there for a friend or relative who is suffering, for whatever reason, is great if you can manage it however, if you find it too much please, please, please do not shut them down with platitudes such as, " Everything happens for a reason". It's not the case and is a hurtful and unhelpful thing to say. I've said it. We've all probably said it - at some point or other. Whether to someone else or to ourselves, attempting to convince ourselves that awful, painful experiences are not random. Which, of course, they are.
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