Thoughts from the Shower #8

I've had a few conversations with December over the last week or so about Advent Calendars, specifically her asking why I don't buy chocolate filled ones.

It occurred to me this morning that one of my reasons is that once the chocolate has been taken out there is nothing behind the door, except the plastic packaging. 

Following this line of thought, I found myself wondering whether the empty plastic behind the door is representative of the overly commerial approach generally taken towards the festive season nowadays?

I Climbed the Tor!

I unexpectedly found myself climbing Glastonbury Tor. I know, that sounds like something you would plan to do - rather than find yourself doing by accident! However, given my physical limitations I had resigned myself to the fact that after our family visit to the Chalice Well (a beautiful, tranquil place) I would sit either in the car or on a bench and wait for my husband and daughters to climb the Tor.

Lion's Head Fountain, Chalice Well Garden

However, as we were leaving the Chalice Well a chance conversation with one of the friendly volunteers meant that we found out about a road we could take to a spot with disabled parking which would cut the walk from Glastonbury to the top of the Tor in half. At this point all I thought was how great it was that I would get a closer view of this special monument.

When we arrived at the parking spot it was deserted (probably because it was lunchtime on a Sunday!) so we had no difficulty parking. We all got out of the car and put on warm coats, hats and scarves as the weather was looking like rain was due and the wind was cold and then, well, and then my feet led me through the gate into a field with a concrete path leading up towards the Tor. To my right I saw what looked like a large granite rock which, upon closer inspection, I realised was a milestone for Wells. 

As I turned around I saw this view:

I really thought that the heavens were going to open and that we were going to get soaked, so it was rather odd that when I next stopped to look around I found myself here:

At this point I had a discussion with my husband as to whether it was sensible for me to attempt the climb (seeing as my feet seemed pretty determined to lead me up there!!). I had both my walking sticks with me, the rain wasn't yet falling (in fact, the clouds were thinning by now) and, the deciding factor, June and December were well ahead of us and already scrambling up the steeper slope.

So, off I went. This was taken about half way:

I had to keep stopping to let more agile people pass me by (and also to rest) and just after I took this photo I realised how vertiginous the path was (and that it would look even worse going back down!). So, I dug in and slowly, determinedly, made my way to the top.

I felt very emotional on gaining the summit, as this was somewhere I had wanted to visit for a very long time and had thought it was beyond me.

My husband enjoying the view from the top

2015 has been a difficult year for me health-wise and I am so glad that we decided to stop at Glastonbury on our way to see family in Cornwall. Our visit to the Chalice Well and gardens followed by the Tor gave me such a strong sense of personal achievement and, through the tears of joy and pain, I felt as though a weight had lifted from me.

Baking with June

In my October copy of Waitrose Food magazine June noticed a recipe for Campfire Brownies (Campfire Brownies recipe link ) and asked me if she could make them.

I had a look at the recipe and found that it would be very simple to make it gluten free so agreed.

I should explain that the main reason June was attracted to this recipe was that the brownies were covered with marshmallows! Here are the photos we took:

Brownie mix about to go into the oven

Part-baked brownie before marshmallows added

Brownie with marshmallows before going back into the oven

Cooked brownie and just-started-to-melt marshmallows, waiting to be cut up

I am sure you can imagine that, once the cake had cooled enough, it was eaten very quickly! The only change I made to the recipe to make it gluten free was to use Dove's Farm Gluten Free Plain Flour instead of standard plain flour. The brownies that I was able to box up kept well (but were all eaten within 3 days of baking!).

Keeping Your Chin Up . . .

. . . even though you feel like closing down. Shutting out. Blocking.

"Some people are more stoic." Really? Really?? What's that supposed to make me feel? Weak?

"Some people handle pain better than others." So what am I meant to take from that?

"Other people are in a far worse situation than you." Wow, that's going to really make me feel better. Not.

"This too will pass", is probably one of the more helpful phrases I've heard - but its still overused and often employed to end a conversation where the other feels unable to continue supporting. Which is understandable, given that everything is meant to be solvable by taking a pill, having therapy, saying a prayer or reading a special book.

Whatever you do, hide your pain, smile through your tears, tell everyone you're fine when they ask if you're OK. Especially if you aren't.

I've been told that, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle", so many times that I must be some kind of emotional superhero by now. I don't think any of the negative events in life are caused by any God anymore than I think the good things are.

I know this because, amongst other things, I've known too many people to suffer, whether painful diseases, mental agonies or accidents - very young, young or older - to be able to believe that there could be a divine purpose to their suffering.

Trying to be there for a friend or relative who is suffering, for whatever reason, is great if you can manage it however, if you find it too much please, please, please do not shut them down with platitudes such as, " Everything happens for a reason". It's not the case and is a hurtful and unhelpful thing to say. I've said it. We've all probably said it - at some point or other. Whether to someone else or to ourselves, attempting to convince ourselves that awful, painful experiences are not random. Which, of course, they are.

Sunset

Thoughts from the Shower #7

It does worry me how the food requirements of 'First World' countries affects the dietary needs of 'Third World' countries. After all, where do people think all their out of season fruit and veg come from?

I remember when all the international flights were grounded for a few days in 2013, how clear and peaceful the skies overhead were. Elsewhere in the world the knock-on effect of the volcanic activity was piles of fruit and vegetables left rotting at airports.

Plans Made and how the Universe Laughs at Them - or Monday Syndrome

So, this is some of what I had planned for Monday:

Dropping my dear friend Reinhild off at the bus station to take a National Express coach to Heathrow Terminal 5 to catch her flight home;

Returning a very overdue book to the library (overdue as in the library had given up on it ever being returned);

Buying some Fimo from a great little art shop in Chichester so that December could then create some animals for her miniature garden;

Encouraging December to make a final decision on a photograph she wants to enter into a competition at the end of the week, so that we could get it printed out onto photographic paper and buy an appropriately sized frame for it;

Getting on with sewing June's costume for Hallowe'en;

Working on an Autumn themed lapbook with June and December.

This is what actually happened:

Reinhild, December and I arrived at the bus station 30 minutes before Reinhild's coach was due to arrive. 10 minutes after the coach should have arrived I called the National Express helpline. The automated voice told me there was a long queue so I went online to check where the coach was on it's route. To our horror, not only was the coach not timetabled but the next one due would arrive too late for Reinhild to make her flight.

I phoned the local taxi company to find out if they could manage a short notice journey to Heathrow, which they could - for a price. I already knew that the train journey would be too long so the decision was made - I would drive Reinhild to Heathrow. However, there was no guarantee we would get there in time as there was a projected 45 minute delay on the M25.

We left home just after midday (having dropped December off and picked up my eldest) with a deadline of 2pm as Reinhild had to be through security by 2.25pm if she was to be able to get on her plane.

It was a tense drive, largely through country lanes, in driving rain. We met with many sets of roadworks, adding to our sense of impending failure, so we were delighted when we joined the M25 to find that the traffic was moving smoothly.

We reached Heathrow at 2pm and Reinhild managed to get through the security checks by the deadline, which was a huge relief.

My eldest daughter and I spent the 2 hours it took to drive home having a good chat, sprinkled with laughter and silliness, which meant that I didn't, in the end, feel that my journey had been time wasted.

Reinhild had a straightforward journey after this hiccup in her travel plans and reached her destination, Düsseldorf, before we got home!